Lions, Tigars, Peanut Butter OH MY!

I am a self-proclaimed health guru. I love to eat clean, fresh, nutrient dense food.

I would like to be known as a healthy eater- come on, we all know one; that person that always picks the healthier option. They usually stay away from the processed, high sugar, heavy carb meals. Let’s be honest, I would take pride and have taken pride in the past as being known as "the healthy one." But that title comes and goes thanks to my addiction. However, the title of 'healthy eater'/ 'the one who makes good decisions with food' doesn't need to be attained by extreme diets, or cutting out major food groups. It is simply found through treating your body with respectful, and by eating respectful food. That’s right, I said respectful food.

For me personally, respectful food is food that is clean, fresh and nutrient full.

For everyone it can mean something different. As a binge/ bulimic, I have to be incredibly careful what I eat. Often times if I eat things that are too high in sugar, artificial flavorings or sweetener/ carb I’m screwed.

Lets talk peanut butter.

High in sugar, high in fat, high in card, high in sodium and just about everything else good. When I think about peanut butter by body tingles, my mouth waters, I feel nervous, and relaxed all at the same time. It sounds to me like I’m in love with peanut butter. I dont think it would be far from wrong to say I am. But this simple everyday household item just might be the nail in my coffin.

I don’t want to demote peanut butter and say that it shouldn’t ever be eaten, or that it is the worsted food out there. Yes, it still has benefit, yes, its main ingredients is peanuts, a nut rich in Monounsaturated fats (healthy for the heart, skin and nails). But it’s a food meant to be consumed in small portions and that is not an option for me. In this season in my life I am completely incapable of 'just one serving.'

So goodbye to peanut butter for me. Hello to my self-proclaimed healthy lifestyle.

As hard as it may be to admit, I don’t need anyone else telling me I am the healthiest in the room. Because we all determine our own way of life, our own journey with health; whether peanut butter is in the equation or not. As long as I am abstaining, and eating the foods my body and minds can handle at the time, I am surely on the way to recovery.

As I am journey though recovery, I think back on who I was, I think about who I want to become, but I am unsure who I am right now. So I choose to focus on what I am becoming. I choose pray, and allow God to work in my each and every moment.

Here’s to a healthy life, clean life.