Pin Pointing Recovery

I find it extremely difficult and discouraging that as an addict, it takes something as small as a thought, a memory, a discussion, a picture, or a smell to set off our habits. And once our addictive habits are triggered, and the urge for our desired substance of choice starts to act up,  all of our self-control and rational thinking quickly slips away from our grasp; often times costing us our sobriety, our happiness, and the freedom to enjoy our lives.

Recently in my recovery with compulsive overeating (binge/bulimia) I have realized I can always pin point something specific that triggered my binge episode. It always starts with a bad decision regarding food. For example, stealing food from  one of my siblings, or one of my roommates. Perhaps choosing to eat, or even take a bit of a food that I have second thoughts about, or know I should not be eating(processed food, foods high in sugar). Eating meals to close together can often times be a factor in triggering an episode; Also, eating too much at a meal almost always trigger's my eating disorder urges.

There are a lot of habits, and small encounters with people, places and things that can set me back in my recovery; going out to restaurants, going to sleepovers, or parties at friends houses. Holidays are extremely hard on addicts. Yes, the holidays are full of joy, and happiness, but they are also full of down time, sweets, sugar, and emotions. For now, all I can do is continue to train myself to say "NO." And to focus on the future I want for myself. A future that does not involve binging and purging. A future that does not involve constant torment, depression, and food thoughts. A future where I can be strong, healthy, and proud of who I am, where I have been, and where I have going. I can make the right decision for myself. Anyone struggling with addiction can choose to make the right decision for themselves. 
When we are in the depths of our addiction, it is so hard to get out; Yes, it is possible, it is always possible to start recovering from addiction no matter how many times you have relapsed, but I am here to say, it is crucial to find out what sets off our addiction, so that we can put a stop to it before it gets ahold of us, and sends us down the path of utter destruction.